Have you ever noticed that its easier to relight a candle after it has already been blown out versus lighting it up the first time around? When lighting it up the first time you need to keep the fire on it for a bit to melt off the waxy barrier around the wick. Once melted, the fire burns on and it will keep burning till it’s blown out or till there is no more wick to burn up.
This reminds me a lot about relationships and the reason why I don’t believe that ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends can’t stay friends after their candle has blown out. This is because if not both, ones wick can be relit easily.
I have so much to ask you. So much to tell you. I’m just worried of what you might think. I’m worried of what you tell me. I’m worried that you will have the impression that I think of us as something we’re not. Though you asked me once about what I will do when you leave, I want to know if you will do the same or find another someone like me. I know I am in no place to tell you what to do or say, I just want to know because I would hate to look like a fool. :/
I want to be the perfect girlfriend. In his eyes, i want to embody the qualities of the perfect girl. I may not look it physically, but I want to be it.
If there was one reason why I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship right now is because I’m scared of getting to the point in a relationship where its not always about rainbows and butterflies. The time where everything feels like its just going to crumbles. I’m petrified of the idea that everything that was built can just fall in an instant and it would be like you never had anything at all with this person. They will become strangers, though once upon a time they were all each other had at one moment.
I know that love is about taking risks and taking a chances, but sometimes after one heart-break you find yourself in fear of history to repeat itself. I wouldn’t want to be fighting for something that won’t fight just as hard or more than i will.
Even if i was given an opportunity, this fear will linger.
Just the thought will do for me. :/
just with a click.
I sat there and seen what my eyes couldn’t believe and felt what my heart couldn’t take. The one person you invest a lot a time with and like so much is talking to someone new. How do you mask it without it seeming like that it bothers you to even think that you can possibly lose him. To think he might kick it off with this girl. She’s already hitting him up the day after. Is he gonna get some. I know how all this goes because heck! I was once in her shoes. I can only imagine. As good as it feels to get somethings off my chest, I hate to feel like a burden on him. Or I hate to make it seem like I’m holding him back from anything because I know I’m in no place or right to make it that way.
I’m feeling like I should hate him, but then I know that’s just because of my feelings that I have and how my jealousy works. you know? I can honestly say, I’m jealous. but I can’t because I put myself up to this and I can honestly, end it if I wanted to. I know I can’t because in my heart, I know I don’t want to. I want to still be the one he can count on. be the one he relies on. be the one he wants to chill with and do things with.
How do I do it? what is it that keeps me, when I know I can probably find a new. then again, I don’t want to.. =/ This shit can be sooo easily handled, yet it’s so complexed. =/
but remember, LOVE is a two way street. Effort on both ends are a must.
It sucks knowing that I don’t have the greatest assets on the outside. I know the truth hurts, but I think if I already know that I don’t have much of a big butt and bigg boobs, you don’t need to remind me that I don’t have it. Makes me feel soo insecure about my overall appearance and just flat out ugly, literally.
Im beginning to not believe in love. It is not for someone like me.. It’s just not meant to happen for me.. All i’ll ever be and have been is just a friend.. :/
Waste of time and effort that ain’t gonna be anything i want it to be..
